![]() The biggest reason anyone holds onto the past is because they don’t feel heard and/or fully understood by the person they perceived hurt them. Reason 1 : Why does she keep bringing up the past? | You aren’t validating her in the way she needs it. So, I am sure you want an objective understanding to help you better understand, right? Here are some common reasons why she may keep bringing up the past and holding grudges. “I don’t get how one little thing can erupt a huge argument about something totally unrelated that happened months ago.” “She is always nagging at me for something.” “She never sees my attempts at making things better.” “Why does she keep bringing up the past? It never stops.” Generally speaking, there have been similarities from what I have heard many men experience and say vs their female counterparts. “Help! Why does she keep bringing up the past? Nothing I do is ever good enough.” Sound familiar? One reoccurring theme I hear from many of my couples is the issue with repairing past conflict. However, this content has and can be a theme in any relationship, regardless of gender and identification. This article is an example of themes I have heard in my experience as a couples therapist from heterosexual, cisgender couples. *It is important to note that although I am using specific gender identifications, I am not intentionally meaning to exclude or generalize behaviors unfairly based on someone’s preferred gender identification. Why Does She Keep Bringing Up the Past? 5 Reasons She Holds “Grudges” Written by Alysha Jeney, MA, LMFT Owner of Modern Love Counseling and Co-Founder of The Modern Love Box
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